LOGISTICS. LEGISLATION. LUNACY.


What Animal is Most Similar to Donald Trump? Meet the Recently Discovered Neopalpa donaldtrumpi

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Imagine you are on Noah’s Ark, and every animal that ever was is shuffling over that deck. Suddenly, a little moth zips by your nose. The moth is tiny, about a centimeter in width. It’s scales are white and yellow, resulting in a creamy shade of orange. The moth wears a beautiful head of golden hair. To top it off, the Neopalpa donaldtrumpi has “comparatively smaller” genitalia than it’s cousin, the Neopalpa neonata.

Plus they both love shit.

 

The Neopalpa donaldtrumpi has a tough life. As a result of it’s size and it’s tiny wings, the moth is constantly battling inferiority complexes. When it goes after a meal, the moth is never quick enough. Any other moth beats it in a flash. In addition, the moth’s sickly bright orange skin is like a piercing siren, giving it’s identity away whenever it tries to sneak up on a meal. As a result of these hapless inadequacies, the Neopalpa donaldtrumpi is constantly trying to prove it’s fabricated superiority.  Mercopress article

 

Vazrick Nazari, a Canadian biologist and researcher recently discovered the Neopalpa donaldtrumpi in southern California. The moth exists south of the border in Mexico.

Nazari claimed that his decision to name the moth after Donald Trump was “to bring wider public attention to the need to continue protecting fragile habitats in the U.S.”  Mercopress article

Donald Trump is certainly not the first president to get a species named after them. George W. Bush has a slime species named after him and there is some fish in Hawaii named after Obama. hhhhappy article

On a side note, a caterpillar species was discovered in the Amazon jungles of Peru last year. The caterpillar is a spitting image to Donald Trump’s beautiful head of hair. Mercopress article

Donald Trump already has two species named after him. Essentially Donald Trump and his hair will live on forever.


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Jordan has always been a writer. He has written several novels available on Amazon.com, and he used to write his own column in "The National Enquirer". While Jordan lived in Japan for two years, he was a childhood television star. He was sort of a big deal. In a volunteer position, Jordan teaches adults how to read.


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