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President Trump

President Trump

Praise Hungry Trump is Handed a Folder of Positive Trump Stories Twice a Day – Can This Guy Get Any Creepier?

Twice a day, President Trump will be handed a secret folder. The first is at 9:30 in the morning. The second one is delivered at 4:30. According to a White House source, former officials Reince Priebus and Sean Spicer used to fight to deliver folders. After all, our president loves looking at handsome pictures of himself more than anything. In this narcissistic web, of course whoever delivered such a folder would score points with Trump.… Keep Reading

President Trump/Putin

Who do we Blame for Trump?

All catastrophic events always devolve into the blame game. This, is inevitable. Human nature must always find the culprit. But when it comes to our Commandeer in Chief, it isn’t so easy to delineate cause. I’m sure many of my readers insist that The Donald is the evil mastermind. However, I am not seeking out the guilty party in Trump’s nefarious deeds.  He starts wars, he steals tuition money from little high-schoolers, he sexually abuses… Keep Reading

President Trump

Our President is Becoming Delusional – In the Past 24 hours, He Participated in Two Phone Calls That Never Actually Happened

My friend’s grand mother used to have imaginary phone calls. She was nuttier than a bag of squirrels. Senility is an ugly thing. Sometimes, when people get older, their minds disintegrate into jumbled cesspools of gibberish.  Victims of senility will often just aimlessly wander away, until a nurse retrieves them. Kind of like when our president, after landing at an airstrip – got into his limousine, and then immediately got out and began strolling down… Keep Reading

President Trump

Trump’s Plea to Police Officers to “Rough up” Criminals Will go Down as One of the Weirdest Requests a President has Ever Made

President Trump gave a very odd speech to police officers in a suburb of New York on Friday. The point of the speech was to illustrate the need for stricter immigration laws. Trump waged war against the MS-13 gang. He claimed the gang was made up of illegal aliens, killing countless children and police officers. Interestingly, Trump gave his speech in Suffolk County, New York, the same county that had been under Justice Department oversight… Keep Reading

What Happens When Our President is not Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

Are you smarter than our president? Yesterday, our president petrified the world with one tweet. He notified his 33 million Twitter followers, that Amazon doesn’t pay “internet taxes.” Jiggah wha? Hate to be the one to tell you America, but our president is not the sharpest knife in the shelf. Judging by his tweets, you can go to sleep tonight confident that you are actually smarter than our president, the most powerful man in the… Keep Reading

The Oedipus Trump Syndrome – Psychoanalyst Suggest Trump Supporters are Like Children Defending their Abusive Daddy

Daddy issues are prevalent in many Trumpkins. However, during the election, while Trump fever was spreading across the country, the passionate adoration for Donald Trump could never quite be explained. Some of them said, “He thinks like me.” Others replied, in steaming gusto, “He is so rich, he won’t be corrupt.” “We need someone who is strong.” Are those the traits you are concerned with when picking a president? No way! I think there were… Keep Reading

Trump Has to Regret Opening his Fat Orange Lips About his Secret Comey Tapes

Do the Comey tapes really exist? Unlikely. I doubt Trump expected the backlash that erupted as a result of his threats that he secretly recorded a conversation with former FBI Director James Comey. A super secret conversation took place in the Oval Office between Donald Trump and James Comey. One of these men was conducting an FBI investigation into the other. After this meeting, Comey gets fired. Considering that it is completely unheard of, to… Keep Reading

Republicans are Ditching Donald Trump Like a Peg Legged Trollop

Ditching Donald Trump is the only way a Republican can survive. Take Martha McSally, a House Republican from Arizona, for example. She is starting to regret her unfettered loyalty to our president. She climbed aboard the Trump Train when it was the thing to do for republicans. For a couple of weeks, it seemed every Republican had a case of Trumpitis. You can’t blame them. Trump just won the election. A stale smog of conservative… Keep Reading

Trump’s Presidency is Turning out to be the Best Thing to Happen for Democrats and the Worst Thing to Happen to The Donald

At first, Trump’s presidency seems like the worst thing that could happen. Most Democrats were crying hysterically the day after elections. But Trump won. Having to stare at his fat orange face every waking minute now, might be excruciating for some. However, Trump’s presidency is turning into a very pleasant surprise for Democrats. We all knew he wasn’t going to be a good president. Just read my pre-election articles to divulge my opinion on that one.… Keep Reading

The Number of Republican Politicians Molesting Little Children is Soaring in Recent Months

The number of Republican politicians molesting little children has soared in recent months. As painful as that sentence is too read, I assure you, it is much more painful to write. To imagine a political figure that garners such respect and civil responsibility, would abuse his trust and molest a little child could hardly be described in words. Blaming Trump has become an easy solution to democratic grievances. This easy scapegoat is also usually correct. If… Keep Reading

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